Penning Me

Hi,
What’s Up??

Hope you are finding your ways in life.
Hope that things are not scary out there.
Hope that the bumps of life, even rough are cool to cross.

You know… that we all know that we all are human beings. We all are having similar patterns. We all are familiar with the ways of survival. But still, in between so much similarity, which is visible through the naked eyes; there lies this fact that beneath; at the roots of our minds, we all are different; we all are unique; may be similar but not necessary.

Our thoughts, our mindsets, our likes-dislikes, our principles, our favorites, our hobbies and many more… we are different in handling the same issues, same people, the same situations. But generally, we don’t accept this truth. The truth which is be based on many things like …….. our experiences in the present, and the past; and the examples around us.

At times, we may not find Life good to us. But at those times, when it is, we don’t even feel like to stop to realize it and say thanks to Life.

I am 32 years old (It’s funny to realize yourself as a 32 years old stuff..hahaha) and have seen many phases in life: from sweet to bitter, and; bitter most to sweetest. I love my life. I just LOVE IT. And I Respect it.
Though yes, it’s still hard to swallow on the bitter parts, and at times it's suffocating. But the thing that works best for me to move on, is the most beautiful decision of, “Let Go”.
The one phrase, when realized gave me the ultimate freedom and hence immense Happiness. I started feeling like free from many burdens… like explaining my past to my future, or what people will think of me (as we are so quick at judging), or how will they treat me when they get to know of my past, or how badly it will affect my relationships.

Well, when it has come to relationships, I find-out that I’m not good at this. This thing, “Relationship”, it’s not familiar, a feeling. I don’t know, how to maintain them, how to nurture then. I mean, it is so technical to me. Don’t know why, but it doesn’t come to me naturally. May be that’s why I am given this plenty of time to first settle down with myself and then enter into a relationship.

I, somehow find that, to some extent, this is the part of my experiences in early life.
How??
Well, in my early environment, through numerous examples; I found, the most desirable expressions to contain a relationship, missing which according to me are : Transparency & Trust.

But then, some wise people say that, we should be Confident and Composed. I understand about the ‘Confident' but I am confused with the ‘Composed’ one.

Does this mean, not to be Spontaneous? (Or may be it means to be ready for what may come)

Well then, I Am Spontaneous AND I like the Spontaneous Ones.

Why… because this way, you don’t need to carry extra load of unsaid & undone things; And, you just live in the moment.

For me this way is
Lovely,
Lively,
Musical,
Dance-able,
Cherish-able,
Enjoyable….
In total......Manageable
😊 The Happiest!! 😊

Tough Day At Work

Hi
I guess, I do not know, how to cope up with the situations at all. I do try but poor me, I always get back when it comes to facing people. As it happened yesterday... thou these incidents are common in my life; People eventually insulting my capabilities in front of others, and me (poor me) I like an already defeated person, like a dead body: don't even react. Same thing was being repeated yesterday. This contracted organisation's engineer the villain of my life (at least since last two years) did the same. Without any solid reason, writes a mail to me, copying other senior management people in that mail, stating shallow insulting words for some particular work in which he made me defaulter. Which was not all true. But what made the difference yesterday was that I did not take it as it is. I responded; first a fearful response but then unafraid and standing. I stayed through his mail conversations, more like arguments in email (more like a creepy, sick shitty thing as it sounds). And you know for the first time, I was supported indirectly by my Boss, instead of getting an email warning to stop such email conversations :P. I know, it's shitty. Probably you can imagine, what I am dealing with these years. I want to come out of it. So I am supposed a emerge with a lot of courage to behave the right way at the right moment. Because this person keeps on creating havocs in my life every now and then. I guess, he doesn't like it smooth at work: like taking actions based on wise discussions and not creating a drama out of it. But he loves drama, I guess. Thou, I love drama too. But not in this sense Man....!! Feel like Buzz off............pphhheeww.

Hey Guys,
Did I do the right thing?
What other actions I could take in this situation?
How to tackle this Guy??
Please please help me through your comments and votes.
I am eagerly waiting to learn more and more from you all guys....

In search of Me

It was always in my head or even if I would share with someone, I won't dare to have the least courage to execute something in my life. something that would define me. 

In my head, I fly with all kinds of colours and would blame my upbringing for not giving me any exposure to the world of creativity. But deep inside, I realise that it is only me who is not letting me fly and no one else. Neither my parents.

Now when I know this and feel like to do something with my life. Something of my own deep desire, On thought of doing which, my heart leaps to the sky. But the thing which somewhat bothers me is that going ahead on this first even chosen path in my life, first of all I will have to leave my current job which is the one and only source of my survival. That means breaking through the only financial security of my life; and then, to enter into a situation where I do not know how will I survive. Because, through-out my life, I never saved a single penny. So I will to start from the scratches since the time I would leave my job. This thought makes me worry to some extent but the good thing out of all is that I want to try this time. And this feeling of let go is much stronger this time. Hence, making me take the solid actions.

I have always been experimental with life. Always let the stream flow loose, on its own, wherever it takes me, I kept myself ready. However, this course has been really eventful, more often stormy and tough; but no doubt, I had the pleasant times too.

One thing, which keeps me going even after so many failed experiments in my life, is that I love my life. I respect it. I feel gratitude for being a part of the universe, for feeling so natural, so loved, so cared and so pampered. I love my life because I have got the parents who love me unconditionally, surprise me, care for me, give me space take my own decisions (I must mention here that I belong to a middle-class family of Indian town-ship), their sacrifices for me are countless, and irreplaceable, just can't return their favour. This bond with them, this love for myself, this joy of being a part of the earth, happiness of loving the nature, being a born as the beautiful creature-a woman, being born in India-the country of rich soil, values and culture: they all keep me going in any circumstances. They all induce the fighting spirit in me and I stand alone to fight for life, my life.

And so I make-up my mind, to start on this new path, "the first even chosen path of my life". What this path is? How it made its way in my head? How do I go on through this phase? Do I fight this time as well to find my real self? 

Its time to draw the beautiful pictures from my head, on the canvas of my life.

Keep reading to unleash every answer out of my life...

Laters !!!

My First Blog ever........

Hey,
Hope you are doing all well.
All my life, especially my childhood n teenage, I was a girl of imagination. No connection with the real world. My world of imagination, full of adventures. and I the angel of this world, with two beautiful wings on each side.When being in classes, the angel in me would all-time fly in my classroom, mesmerizing everyone. especially guys...hahahaha.....No Joke. Really I was so much into guys thing. I would want to be friends to them. I would steal glances on cute guys of my class. and if they catch me staring then my turn to different side with red cheeks. That all I would do. Never dare to talk to any of them. Oh sorry! I forgot to mention that I had been way too hesitant and shy and introvert those day, even until me maturity. Yeah, I know that a too big time to be into that frame, but this is what I was. I would hardly talk to people. I would hesitate to take part in group activities. Result was back bencher, reactionless me. I would shy away from everything. even at home also. Though I loved to do many things, but fear of opening-up my heart with people and consequently breaking of it was way too much burdening. This feeling would not lemme do anything.
And So, guys, my life was so boring!! I was always living in my head, or otherwise through the adventurous stories of angels, devils, magic, In short, I was the Alis in Wonderland.... at least this is what I feel.
gotta go

Laters !!!