In search of Me

It was always in my head or even if I would share with someone, I won't dare to have the least courage to execute something in my life. something that would define me. 

In my head, I fly with all kinds of colours and would blame my upbringing for not giving me any exposure to the world of creativity. But deep inside, I realise that it is only me who is not letting me fly and no one else. Neither my parents.

Now when I know this and feel like to do something with my life. Something of my own deep desire, On thought of doing which, my heart leaps to the sky. But the thing which somewhat bothers me is that going ahead on this first even chosen path in my life, first of all I will have to leave my current job which is the one and only source of my survival. That means breaking through the only financial security of my life; and then, to enter into a situation where I do not know how will I survive. Because, through-out my life, I never saved a single penny. So I will to start from the scratches since the time I would leave my job. This thought makes me worry to some extent but the good thing out of all is that I want to try this time. And this feeling of let go is much stronger this time. Hence, making me take the solid actions.

I have always been experimental with life. Always let the stream flow loose, on its own, wherever it takes me, I kept myself ready. However, this course has been really eventful, more often stormy and tough; but no doubt, I had the pleasant times too.

One thing, which keeps me going even after so many failed experiments in my life, is that I love my life. I respect it. I feel gratitude for being a part of the universe, for feeling so natural, so loved, so cared and so pampered. I love my life because I have got the parents who love me unconditionally, surprise me, care for me, give me space take my own decisions (I must mention here that I belong to a middle-class family of Indian town-ship), their sacrifices for me are countless, and irreplaceable, just can't return their favour. This bond with them, this love for myself, this joy of being a part of the earth, happiness of loving the nature, being a born as the beautiful creature-a woman, being born in India-the country of rich soil, values and culture: they all keep me going in any circumstances. They all induce the fighting spirit in me and I stand alone to fight for life, my life.

And so I make-up my mind, to start on this new path, "the first even chosen path of my life". What this path is? How it made its way in my head? How do I go on through this phase? Do I fight this time as well to find my real self? 

Its time to draw the beautiful pictures from my head, on the canvas of my life.

Keep reading to unleash every answer out of my life...

Laters !!!